07 April 2010

When 140 characters, or even 420, just won't do...

So if when life gives you lemons you make lemonaid, when life gives you hell do you throw a BBQ?

Life sometimes gives everyone hell, then there are the times where life straight ties you down and makes you it's bitch. Recently, it's felt like the latter of the 2

A lot of things are happening all at once, and I am not having an easy time mentally with any of it.  I am actually kinda surprised that I am able to keep up appearances that I am strong and am perservearing through this, because inside I am torn apart. I know what's going on in my head is the source of my insomnia, but with as much as I do have going on in my life right now, I don't have the time to slow down and take care of it.  I know that sounds horrible, as we all should take the time to clear our head of all the deamons that haunt us, but with a 60+ hr a week job, 2 kids and a wife that's due in 2.5 months with #3, and all the other things I have my hands in right now I just don't have any time.  Besides that.... I don't think I am ready to deal with them.

I head to the surgeons tomorrow to schedule my next surgery.  I really don't think I am ready for another one.  I hadn't really gotten through everything in my head from the first one. I know that I am angry at myself and my body, but I can't really pinpoint why.   This was the hand that I was dealt, and I think I am handling it pretty well considering what I put myself through to have the life that I have always wanted. Some times I wonder if it is all worth it, trying to keep going on the path that I am on in the condition that I am in, but then I think about all the hard work that I put in and the breaks I created to get where I am today, and I realize that I wouldn't ever get another shot like this again.  I have to keep doing what I am doing, I would never be happy doing anything else.

Well... Outside running my own station that I was the owner of.... Anyone got a couple million dollars they want to loan me?

Sorry.... Quick Break... This is the Funniest video I have seen in a while! Just goes to show you what a well placed bleep can do to pretty much any conversation.



So someday... I hope to figure this all out... until then I hope I can work through this and keep going on what I do.  Otherwise, I am sure my family will hate me.

All this just to keep the roof over my families head.  It's totally worth it... but someday this body will give out on me again... and then what

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