2010 can SUCK IT!!!

I know... I have been neglecting to post anything on here. Truth is.... I haven't really felt like writing anything recently. Life has a really f'd way of messing with you sometimes.

It's not that I don't have anything to talk about. Hell off the top of my head I could have talked about why I abandoned my top 10 list, why NYE sucked balls and set the tone for the rest of the year aparently, the crazy insane hours I have been putting in at work getting things ready for a new year, the podcast that I am trying to launch this weekend, the health and happiness of my kids and wife, my body deciding to hate me once again, ect, ect, ect.......

I just don't have the energy to devote to even thinking comprehendable sentances about any of that...

I don't even have the energy to put into being positive. I have enough to be neutral though... so that's a start.

I thought that life was suppose to start again after Ostomy surgery? I thought that that was the game changer? Really.... NOT A DAMN THING HAS REALLY CHANGED.

Wait a sec.... one thing has changed... I am not in daily pain... just pain every 2-3 days

I don't like this new life. I don't understand it, I don't know how to plan for it, I don't know anything... and that really pisses me off! I can't plan around what I do not understand.

One thing that is KICKING MY ASS lately is Insomnia. I don't understand where it is coming from. I use to deal with it while I was on Prednisone, but I took Ambien and was alright for sleeping. Now... NOTHING is helping me get the sleep I need. So I go to work a Zombie... work as a Zombie... come home feeling like a Zombie... and the cycle repeats...

I think the title says it all for me right now.... 2010 can SUCK IT!!!