Think of a title for this later....

So I have attempted to write this post for the past 3 days now... and I don't know if it is I don't want to or I am not sure of what to write... but I am going to get you all updated on what has happened since Thrusday morning by the time breakfast shows up or else I will wait to eat till this is done!
The examination under anestesia went well. They found that some areas of my sigmoid colon and rectum were not as diseased as they originally thought, so they didn't need to cut as much, if any, from there. There were still questions about some sections of my small bowel that would only be answered when they opened me up and got a real good look at what's happening. Although I didn't like the idea of just "winging it" so to speak, I really trust my doctors and if they told me they needed me to jump off the roof before the surgery I'd do it.
So I went home that afternoon and started getting things ready for my surgery. I wanted to nap all afternoon, but my son was having none of that! I think he knew it was the last time daddy was going to be able to wrestle with him for a while and wanted to get his fix in while he still could.
Emotion finally hit me Thursday night. I had been letting it build and build, just telling my self that this wasn't anything and that I was making a bigger deal out of this than it was. Well I was just lying to myself. This is a huge thing and I wasn't dealing with the emotional side enough. I broke down pretty much the whole night as my family slept.
Friday Morning started pretty much Thursday Night for me. Didn't sleep at all. Didn't think that I would, but I was hoping. Got to the hospital, and things started happening. Took me up to surgery where I met my ET nurse and she marked me for my ostomy. Then it was getting into gowns and getting me into bed so that everyone could talk to me and get me prepped. After signing consents and such, I laid back and rested, waiting for things to start happening and that's all I remember... I must have closed my eyes and they pushed the sedative to relax me and then off we went!
I don't remember much of Friday night. I know that my family was all here when I got back to my room around 5pm. Aparently I was cracking jokes from my first consiousness. My brother, who is just as bad with his phone as I am, was sending out a mass txt to let the family know I was out of surgery and doing alright. I looked at him and said something along the lines of "dude, for once in your life will you put down the phone" he then informed me that he was just updating the family on what was happening so I told him "well, I guess that's ok..." I don't remember any of this. Oh and aparently I was dragging all of my words out for no aparent reason... Wow I was messed up! Bad thing was I was in a TON of pain, that I do remember. I know it was hard for my family to see me like that, because they could see the pain on my face. Didn't sleep much that night, was hitting the pain button constantly. It really sucked! Didn't look at my wounds till the next day. Don't know why I didn't want to, but I didn't. Didn't think I could handle looking at it that night.

I have a lot more to add to this... but this has taken a long time to write and I my body is telling me to sleep... so I am going to do that now and come back to this in a bit. have a wonderful day